Kind of an Update?

Hello friends!

I’m sorry for not uploading or anything recently. Life has been crazy at home and at school, but things have slowed down and hopefully I can be more consistent whether it’s filming with an actual camera or my phone! I hope you guys enjoy the new update!

Lots of love and Hugs,
Becky Espinoza



My church (Eastside Christian Church) and I have been going through this series called Freeway. It’s all about finding the “free way” through Christ. It’s about being honest with God, others, and more importantly, yourself.

So far, the topics that have been covered have been:
– Knowing the One who grants freedom
– Awareness
– Discovery
– Ownership
– Forgiveness

The topic that has struck me has been the topic of ownership. How does ownership grant you freedom? Are they even connected? Why yes, yes they are.

Ownership is connected to freedom by how we react and own up to our choices. An example in my life where I have lacked ownership has been when I lost one of my closest friends a year and a half ago. I blamed it God, and I mistreated the relationships I had/have and jumped into a romantic relationship before being ready. If I had taken ownership of the pain I felt from losing a friend, I probably wouldn’t be trying to mend a broken heart from a broken relationship that I allowed to compromise some of my morals.

In recent pop culture news, Shia LaBeouf opened up to Interview Magazine and stated that he found God while working on his recent film Fury. I read the interview, and let me tell you, I want to meet Shia even more now (I had a HUGE crush on him when he was on Even Stevens!). At the end of the interview, Shia says:

I’ve been a runner my whole life, running from myself. Whether to movies or drinking and drugging or fu**ing calamity or whatever it is, I’ve always been running. I’m a dude who loves delusion. It’s why I love being an actor—I never have to actually look at myself or be faced with my sh** or take responsibility. So it’s been an eye-opening thing to have to look at myself, at my life, and have these reflective moments… I’ve been blessed with a sh** life.

What I absolutely love about this quote and article in general is the realness of it. I think often times as Christians in America we look at our lives and circumstances and ask God “why?.” I know I do this, probably on the daily.

Shia’s interview shows revelations from his time as being a Christian that has taken me years to even grasp. He [now] takes ownership of the circumstances that he has been through, even if they weren’t his fault. He has had to take responsibility for his life.

As someone who has grown up in the church, I haven’t taken responsibility when I should have all along. So what if Shia throws out expletives ever so often, as a young-ish Christian, he is more mature than I am.

Shia has been a great example in realizing that I need to take responsibility of my life and the choices I make. My encouragement to you is to take a step back and look at your life. Maybe you’ll see that you already take responsibility for your life, or you need to make some choices and take ownership of certain actions you may have done. I know that I need to do this.

Be blessed guys!

Lots of love & hugs,

Sorry if this is all jumbled!

Life and Death of Ben Breedlove

Early this morning, (around 2:38 AM) my attempts to fall asleep had failed, so I wanted to check the news on my laptop and see what was going on in the world. The first story that popped up was a story titled Teen’s video goes viral after death. I clicked it thinking that it would be interesting. Needless to say that I would be changed by someone I never knew, by someone I never met.

Ben Breedlove was 18 years old when he died on Christmas Day in Austin, TX. He suffered from HCM (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) a heart condition that causes the myocardium (the muscle in the heart) to thicken, causing problems when pumping out blood. A week before he died, he left two videos (This is my story:Part 1 and Part 2) talking about how he had cheated death three times.

I saw the videos, and I also looked at the videos where he and a few of his friends give advice about different things. I began to like him. He seemed so happy, so full of life, even though he might not live the following day. He accepted death, but until then, he lived life, and that to the fullest.

Realizing all of this, I started thinking, Am I okay with death? Am I living life to the fullest? Am I making a difference? For me personally, I would have to answer either no or sometimes. As a Christian, I should be able to confidently say yes to those questions. What can I do to change this? Find my identity in Christ, know that my life is in God’s hands, serve in every way possible (without burning out, a post about this will come soon, I can feel it!), and lastly, love God to the fullest.

I never met this young man, but he has changed my view on life, as well as many others. My prayers go out to his family, friends, and community.

Ben Breedlove’s Obituary

I hope to meet him one day in heaven.